Standard Horizontal Inertial Theory

If you believe in a globe Earth, please finish reading this before making any conclusions.

Introduction

The Standard Horizontal Inertial Theory (SHIT) is a reformulation of multiple current flat-earth theories to become more scientifically sound and believable, and less religiously based. Its main goal is to correct the common misconception that the Earth is spherical, and to rectify the idea that a flat-earth theory must include edges where people can fall off of.

SHIT is an extension of my previous interpretation of the flat-earth theory, the Continuous Unlimited New-world Theory (CUNT), which has multiple erroneous statements that did not account for certain natural phenomena. SHIT attempts to cover what CUNT has missed, and is hopefully compatible with our current understanding of physics and astronomy.

Postulates

1. The Earth is an infinite, 2-dimensional plane.

   1.1. The Earth carries repetitive features. It is mirrored across polar regions (i.e. the direction of the poles shift), and translated across meridians (i.e. East/West is consistent).

2. The Earth locally accelerates through space at 9.8 m/s².

   2.1. The Earth creates a gravitational field of strength 9.8 m/s² that affects all objects.

   2.2. The Earth collects matter from the universe, as a result of the acceleration, which forms the atmosphere.

   2.3. By Newton’s Third Law, space can also be said to be accelerating towards earth at 9.8 m/s². However, since laws of motion are translationally invariant, and there is no reference point in space, we cannot determine the speed or position of the Earth.

   2.4. Since the Earth carries no speed, relativity does not apply to the motion of the Earth.

   2.5. The lack of a measurement for the speed of the Earth implies that the Earth has been accelerating since the beginning of time (if there is one).

3. Aether is a fundamental, underlying feature of the universe.

   3.1. Aether is not considered an object, and is therefore not affected by the gravitational field.

   3.3. Aether is not collected by the Earth, and therefore is displaced by the atmosphere to be distributed in the universe.

4. The presence of aether, or lack thereof, affects our perception of the Earth.

   4.1. The density of aether increases with the distance from the observer, due to warped space.

   4.2. As the density of aether increases, we perceive space to be warped.

   4.3. The density of aether reaches a critical point at the horizon, which we cannot locally see beyond. The area that the horizon encapsulates is termed the vision circle.

   4.4. The vision circle can be extended to the space above the Earth. There can only be a limited amount of space that can be visible to an observer at one time. That region of space is termed the vision cone.

5. Aether forms the majority of outer space.

   5.1. The night sky is unchanging. However, the motion of the aether allows us to perceive objects in space as moving.

   5.2. Planets outside of Earth are not real. However, the ability to explore a simulation of another world is possible, and can be explained by a theory of simulation that conforms with SHIT.

Evidence

So, you might be asking. Why would we want to abandon thousands of years’ worth of physics for such a theory? The truth is, physics was never right; it never even attempted to be right. Physics was developed to undermine the power of the Roman Catholic Church, and although it does not contradict the existence of deities, it is not immediately apparent to those who are unfamiliar with modern physics.

On the contrary, every single postulate here is constructed from simple observations, and should be apparent to both the religious and the atheists.

In postulate 1, we observe that the Earth is locally flat, but yet we can travel both eastwards and westwards to the same location. We can easily predict that the Earth is therefore an infinitely repeating plane, just like the ones we see in mathematics textbooks.

In postulate 2, we observe that the Earth is experiencing constant acceleration. By applying the principles of conventional physics, we are forced to conclude that it contradicts itself, sadly. We must therefore introduce something that explains the phenomenon, just like how we improve on theories when previous ones do not make sense.

The result is the aether, which is by itself not a new concept. By outlining its function and rules in the next 3 postulates, SHIT is able to explain natural phenomenon without resorting to an absurd conclusion that the Earth is somehow curved.

Ongoing Development

For a theory to be accepted, it must be simple enough to be understood. Like classical mechanics, SHIT is governed by simple, concise statements that can be understood universally, and are mutually compatible.

However, by this principle, we have to conclude that modern physics is unfortunately, not accepted, due to its mathematical complexity.

SHIT is open to revision and additions, as we have only just begun to rediscover the lost knowledge of a flat Earth. Feel free to contact me at my discord server to discuss and correct this theory.

Conclusion

SHIT is the shit.

Happy April’s Fools.